Many of us have a mental checklist of the traits we believe our “perfect match” will have, but researchers are finding that the traits we think we’re looking for don’t necessarily translate into reality.

A Northwestern University study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology suggests that the personality traits that people think they want in a mate are not the ones they’re necessarily attracted to.

“People have ideas about the abstract qualities they’re looking for in a romantic partner,” said study researcher Paul W. Eastwick. “But once you actually meet somebody face to face, those ideal preferences for traits tend to be quite flexible.”

Eastwick uses the trait of persistence as an example.

“After meeting in person, you might feel that, yeah, that person is persistent, but he can’t compromise on anything,” he said. “It’s not the determined and diligent kind of persistent that you initially had in mind.”

Source: Huffington Post

Heather Rudow is a staff writer for Counseling Today. Email her at hrudow@counseling.org.

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